Curious Motherhood Ideas

Birth, Gosh

Initial plan for a painting that ended up quite different:

Fringebangs

Well, things went as they often do.

I had an idea for a kind of themed blog

about 'fringes'

or 'bangs'

Because I have been genuinely in a dither about getting my hair cut.

And I find it quite unnatural to blog about such a feminine self absorbed thing... so I thought it would be a good challenge.

Then I came up with tons of ideas for drawings and narratives.

But I work in a shop a lot of the time.

And I don't have time to make everything perfect and developed...

Especially not 'pointless' blog things.
as much as it pains me.

So what I have is a collection of drawings that does not feel in any way finished with or living up to the ultimate potential of FRINGES as a theme and all the marvellous things it could have been, say, if Marlo had done it. Oh well. it's also probably a document of my mild mental illnesses.

I saw this picture of Penelope Cruz in a magazine, and I thought for a while that I wanted her fringe. I hoped I was too sophisticated to fall into that old trap of thinking you want the woman's hair when actually what you want is her face. But I don't know. I'm not that sophisticated.





I went through this thing where I was transposing fringes onto drawings of myself.

Penelope hair: no.

I was not sure for a long time whether I should get a fringe at all, since my face might be too big and lumpy. When Katie drew me she made me look like someone who shouldn't have a fringe. Like a serious tarty mermaid. I was so happy when I saw this.





When Marlo drew me (Sorry Hannie) she made me look like someone who perhaps should have a fringe but doesn't.





I had some really terrible experiences at hairdressers in the past, that still haunt me. I remember once when it had started to go very wrong in my awkwardest teenage years the lady was trying to make me point to pictures in magazines (so embarrassing) and I pointed to one of an oriental lady... she said 'that's oriental hair, that's different' Oh so stupid! I should have known... best to stay at home and let your hair grow, it's antennas to spiritual awareness anyway isn't it. Never go out.





I've been struggling to return the favour and draw Katie, but I find her tricky, her features are round and cute and they seem to beg for the cartoonyness that I feel out of my depth with... so I've had some right old weird results and I don't think I'm finished.





And Duffy of course... funny old Duffy.

WTF is this and what does it want with me?





Wilful abuse of magic animation pencils





Little Miss transparent nose





The racoon-like gaping monster that my drawings have persisted in turning into for the past ten years... Well, you may spot an actual raccoon in the corner. The middle one is just a piffling personage, perhaps on a par with a Popple.





I actually started drawing models out of magazines... I spend more time in towns now... magazines can become quite alluring when you're daydreaming about things to draw...









Some naked tasteful naff slutty empowered deviantart women wear their fringes quite well.





I had more... I had fully blown theories about forehead shapes and things... unfortunately now I might have lost interest, and confidence in the very foundations of my investigative faculty, I'm sorry.

Teenage Sketchbooks

These are NOT FROM RECENTLY. I did these approx eleven years ago, when I was stupid and uneducated. This is very important to remember. I don't see any... much of anything proper in any of these old drawings, but I do see interesting things in the potential or the ideas I was generating as a youth. Just had no guidance at all.

Preoccupations: I was fascinated by beanie babies briefly in 1998 when there started being magazines about them and some of them were selling for three thousand pounds.





But also Disney princesses and shop windows. I was quite, quite mad.













I wanted to reach out to cartoons, but I didn't know how! I'm still not exactly sure.





I used to make plasticene heads and then draw them from different angles. Bless.





I was curious about the attraction to the piggy eyes of Pitt.





Then I did this Star Wars project... WTF?

















But the beanie babies hadn't gone away.









And then one time I did a painting with mushrooms.





I don't know... I look at some of my old drawings and they seem so lost and sad. But at the same time there's a lot of undirected enthusiasm, if that's a thing. My lines and my shapes left without teaching or proper information, were so boring and formless.





But it's so hard to keep hold of your ears and paws these days.

Notes to Self

Truly other-worldly.





Seeing through things.






Mean it, mean it.

Kitties are in my plans.

I do a lot of plans.